


la patience c'est le cœur de l'amour

by LtTanyaBoone



Category: Cardinal (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Future Fic, Trans Female Character, pride month pieces
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 23:10:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15129773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LtTanyaBoone/pseuds/LtTanyaBoone
Summary: I decided to write some Lise/Danielle pieces for Pride month. Mostly future!fic. Rated M for sexual content in last chapter. Everything else is rated T.





	1. Sylvain 'verse #1

**Author's Note:**

> I posted some of these on tumblr already. Some are new, bc the month got away from me, and yeah.
> 
> Title is a rephrased line from ['Sunday Morning Statis' by Joseph Fink](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65K0b_27F4U). (Lyrics are 'the heart of love is patience', I turned it into 'patience, that's the heart of love')
> 
> Reminder that Danielle Sargeant is a trans woman, and Lise Delorme is bisexual (at least my version of her is).

John warned her, that it would be like this. Lise hadn't really wanted to believe him. Like, sure, Danielle and her, they've both been very excited, about having a baby. But at the same time, they're adults. They planned for this, they went into this knowing what was going to happen.

Yet here Lise is. Just staring at their son as he rests on Danielle's chest while they lay in bed, his little eyes barely open.

It's been almost a week, since he arrived. Five days, to be precise. And still Lise can't stop watching the baby every moment she's awake. Can't stop staring at him as he sleeps, or nurses, or frowns at them.

The baby opens his mouth, yawning, little face scrunching up.

"Aw, are you tired, my love?" Danielle asks him softly, lifting her head so she can kiss Sylvain's soft baby hair. The baby relaxes again, little arms and legs moving under the soft blanket Lise placed on him.

She reaches out and gently rests her hand on his back, moving her thumb slowly. Sylvain peers at her, slightly cross-eyed. Lise leans in and kisses his cheek, inhaling the scent of baby powder and fresh linen.

"I love you, my angel," she whispers to him.

She's tired. She should be sleeping. Even if he's awake, he's content with his maman, right now. Lise should be using the time to catch up on lost sleep. But she can't tear her eyes away from Danielle and their son.

She's so lucky she has this. That she has this wonderful, amazing wife, who is so absolutely smitten with the baby that she'll volunteer to do any and all of the care regarding him. Who's taking to motherhood so easily, despite having been plagued by nightmares and doubts just moments before Sylvain drew his first breath.

Danielle reaches out and touches the baby's hand. Lise watches his little fingers move before they wrap around the digit, holding on tightly. Sees the soft expression in Danielle's eyes, the happy smile on her lips.

"He's so cute," the blonde whispers softly. "I never want to let him go again."

"Me, neither," Lise agrees. Sylvain moves his head, rubbing his face against Danielle's chest.

"Oh," she breathes, her brows furrowing. Lise shifts and slowly sits up. Carefully lifts the baby into her arms, mindful of supporting his head. Sylvain's eyes widen in surprise at the change in position, before Lise cradles him. Purposefully holds him against her chest, to see if he was just trying to move his head, or rooting. Sure enough, he turns his face into her chest, trying to latch onto her. It draws a soft chuckle from her and she carefully hands him to Danielle, who has sat up herself.

"I know," she murmurs as Lise pulls off her top and reaches to unhook her bra. The nursing bras she has, the three of them, are all in the wash, thanks to some unfortunate leaking.

"I'm trying, okay? I promise we'll get there," Danielle tells him, gently stroking Sylvain's cheek as she cradles him against her. "Give me like, two more weeks, or so, and we'll try, alright?"

Lise watches her, not wanting to interrupt. She knows it's been, difficult, for Danielle. Not that she didn't get to carry the baby, Lise got the sense that that part was something Danielle had made her peace with some time ago. But she'd been so set on wanting to nurse the baby, and inducing lactation has taken longer than she'd thought it would. Adding to that the fact that their son was two weeks early, and they're here, at the point where their midwife recommended that Lise breastfeed alone, for the time being.

"Here you go," Danielle mutters and gently hands him back to Lise, who's gotten comfortable with a pillow in her back, resting against the headboard.

It still surprises her, how easy she finds it to get Sylvain to latch on. Once he's nursing, Danielle moves closer, resting her head against Lise's shoulder as she watches their son.

"I do not want to know what this will feel like, when he starts teething," Lise whispers, drawing a snort from Danielle.

"Is it very uncomfortable?" she asks, her voice low. Lise draws a slow breath and leans over to press a kiss to the crown of her wife's head.

"No," she allows. "Just, strange. Though I think it might get unpleasant down the line," she admits, looking back at the baby to find him watching her with wide eyes.

"He's so focused on you," Danielle remarks. "I love watching the two of you like this."

"Really?" Lise asks, surprised. She feels heat tingeing her cheeks and Danielle leans in for a quick kiss.

"It's beautiful," she tells her.

"You'll have this, too," Lise says, searching her eyes, and finds Danielle swallowing thickly.

"I know," she replies, leaning back. "I'm just, impatient," she murmurs.

"I know," Lise nods, allowing silence to fall again between them as she focuses on the baby. She enjoys these moments, too. The closeness, the intimacy.

When he's done feeding, Lise carefully hands their son to Danielle, who rests him against her shoulder and pats his back lightly, trying to elicit a burp from him. Lise watches as Danielle slowly paces the room, humming under the breath, the baby gurgling against her.

"There you go," she chuckles after a while, supporting Sylvain's head as she moves him to be able to look at his face. "Was that good? Did that make your tummy feel better?" she asks the baby. Sylvain moves his arms and Lise sees his legs kick as Danielle returns to the bed.

"Sleepy?" she asks and Danielle tilts her head at the baby as she sits down.

"Not really," she shakes her head. "He seems very awake. Aren't you? You're not sleepy at all, huh?" she sing-songs. "Oh my goodness," she mutters when their son spits up some of his food and quickly lifts him so he doesn't aspirate any of it. "Did you have too much, my love?" Danielle murmurs and gently cleans his face, the baby scrunching it up.

"That probably didn't taste pleasant, the second time around," Lise remarks, crinkling her nose.

"Are you going to do that again? Or can maman go and change you? Change your diaper, too?" Danielle inquires, watching the baby with a suspicious expression. He doesn't seem to be about to bring up more of his food, though Lise thinks their son very much doesn't know what his body is about to do at this point, anyway.

Danielle carefully puts him down on the bed and goes to grab a fresh onesie as well as a diaper, wipes, and changing mat. It would probably have been easier, to take him to the nursery, but then again, neither one of them has really mastered this whole thing yet. Half the time, they keep helping each other with it. Lise appreciates it. Plus, she tends to forget that they have a baby with a penis. Who is amazing at having the moments he pees coincide with his diaper changes. The number of times she would have ended up covered in baby pee if Danielle's hadn't been there and put something on him is astounding.

He likes getting cleaned, they've come to find. At first he wasn't a fan, at the hospital, but he is now. Probably because Lise no longer has a nurse breathing down her neck and doesn't feel like she's on a time limit. Danielle takes her time, making sure he's clean, before she puts the fresh diaper on him and changes their son's dirty onesie for a fresh one.

By the time she's done, his eyes are closing, Sylvain unable to keep them open any longer.

"Naptime," she murmurs and leans down to kiss the baby's forehead. Lise leans in to do the same, before Danielle carefully picks him up and puts him into his bassinet. Once she's sure he's comfortable and asleep, she grabs the dirty diaper and goes to throw it out.

Lise scoots down in bed and relaxes, her own eyes closing. She feels the bed dip when Danielle joins her again. Hears the sheets rustle softly and then feels Danielle's arm wrap around her middle as she snuggles up behind Lise.

"Je t'aime," she murmurs and rests her hand on her wife's arm, her lips tugging into a content smile when she feels the blonde nudge the base of her neck with her nose, muttering the same words.

Their son will wake them up in about two hours, when he gets hungry again. They can both use some sleep in the meantime.

_fin._


	2. Sylvain 'verse #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was already posted on tumblr.

"Mama."

Lise looks up from her work sharply at the sound of her son's voice. Finds him standing in front of her desk, fidgeting.

"Âllo, mon ange," she smiles at Sylvain, who breaks into a broad grin.

"Maman says it's time for dinner," the little boy declares and Lise feels her eyes widen in surprise. Looks over at the alarm on her desk. Surely enough, it's half past six. Time for dinner and then bedtime, for their child.

"Alright," she nods and closes the file. Shuts her laptop and gets up, offering her hand to Sylvain. Who eyes it, before taking it. Lise pauses and bends down to pick him up, managing to bring a huge smile to her son's face. He lets out a shrill laugh when she tosses him into the air and blows a raspberry on his cheek. Sylvain wraps his arms around her neck and holds on tightly, making her inhale his soft scent before she starts walking down the hallway.

"I was about to come find you," Danielle says when Lise enters with Sylvain balanced on her hip. He's getting too big for this, she thinks. "I was afraid he'd managed to get himself lost."

"No, he found me alright," Lise shakes her head and places Sylvain on his chair, before leaning over to brush her lips over Danielle's.

"This smells wonderful," she declares as she sits down herself.

"Thanks," Danielle smiles, ruffling their son's thick curls. He's inherited both Danielle's curls, and Lise's brown hair. She keeps thinking he needs a haircut, but then something comes up, and either she forgets, or the salon doesn't have any free appointments.

When Sylvain keeps brushing his hair from his face as he tries to eat, Danielle reaches over and simply puts her hair clip into his hair, keeping it away from their son's face. Lise blinks in surprise at the picture, and the fact that their son doesn't protest it. He can be rather, particular, about his hair. He won't let Lise near it with a brush, she's tried. Danielle usually manages to convince him to let her deal with it, but even she has to persuade him.

"I'm sorry," Lise apologizes. "For losing track of time. You should have gotten me way sooner," she tells Danielle.

"It's fine," the blonde waves her off. "I figured if I let you work, chances were we'd have you for the rest of the evening," she tells Lise. "Plus, I had a little helper," she adds with a smile at Sylvain, who grins at her.

"You helped?" Lise asks him with a smile.

"Yes," the boy nods enthusiastically. "Maman let me cut the 'tatoes,"

"He did a really good job with those," Danielle compliments him. "And what else did you do?" Danielle prompts, watching the boy with love in her eyes as he tells Lise how he turned on the stove and stirred the pots and salted the water and got out their plates and helped set the table.

She's amazing, Lise keeps thinking. And wonders, again, why Danielle agreed to marry her. She's such a wonderful wife, and amazing mother.

If anyone had told her years ago that one day, Lise would be the one to want a child, she would have laughed in their face. But when Danielle and her had gotten married, she'd suddenly found herself thinking how great it would be, to have a child with her. To raise a kid, together.

She'd have been fine, with adoption. But when Lise told Danielle that she didn't want a child that was only half theirs, only Lise's biological kid, Danielle had reminded her that actually, she had sperm frozen, before she first started transitioning. So there'd been the option, of having a child that is biologically related to both of them, and Lise had figured they could give that a shot, before looking into adoption. Their second attempt at AI had taken, and nine months later, she'd given birth to Sylvain. That was almost four years ago, and Lise finds herself wondering where the time went.

Danielle'd told her, about wanting to stay home, with the baby. Lise had been all for it. She would have taken off a year, but after she wanted to go back to work. With Danielle willing to stay at home, that eliminated the need for daycare, or a nanny, and Lise was free to return to work six months after having their son. It had been hard, at first, to leave the baby, but she'd missed work a lot, and Danielle and Sylvain made it easy, on her. They're great, together. Danielle is so loving, and encouraging, and supportive, and patient with him, that Lise keeps wondering where she gets it from. She's been at her wit's end with the boy more than once, but she's yet to hear Danielle even raise her voice at him.

"Mama?"

"Huh?" Lise blinks, pulling herself from her thoughts to find Sylvain frowning at her. "I'm sorry, what was it you said?"

"You weren't listening," the boy accuses her and Lise finds herself deflating.

"Syl," Danielle murmurs softly and reaches out to touch his back. "It's been a long day. I'm sure Mama is just tired. Why don't you take your plate to the kitchen, huh? There's a cup of jello on the counter, for desert."

Sylvain gets up and takes his plate, leaving them to themselves.

"I'm sorry," Lise apologizes and reaches up to pinch the bridge of her nose. "I don't know what's wrong," she shakes her head and takes a sip of her water.

"I have a guess," Danielle murmurs and tilts her head slightly, causing Lise's eyes to widen.

"You think..." she starts, frowning. Her wife opens her mouth to reply, but their son returns and cuts of whatever it was that Danielle had wanted to say. He hands Lise his jello so she can peel off the lid and sets to eat it with gusto.

Danielle tells her it's fine, she'll clear the table, as long as Lise takes Sylvain to the bathroom for a bath. Lise nods and takes his hand, and their son pulls her with him eagerly. She grabs the lighter from the top shelf of their medicine cabinet and lights up the lavender-scented candle they keep in the bathroom.

She turns on the water and lets him pick the warmth, before putting in the plug and adding some bubble bath.

"Get undressed, love," she tells Sylvain and takes out her phone to put on some music.

She loves bathtime with him. And so does Sylvain. It's odd, but he has specific things he wants her or Danielle to do. Bathtime is Lise's part, he won't let Danielle do it when Lise is home with them. The same way that he wants Danielle to make him breakfast, not Lise, because Danielle knows just how he likes his cereal and his sandwich. When they put him to bed, Sylvain wants Lise to read him a story, but it's Danielle who has to tuck him in, or he won't go to sleep.

She manages to convince him to let her wash his hair and actually manages to run a wide toothed comb through it after, to get the worst tangles out.

"Floof monster," Lise laughs when she dries him off and Sylvain's damp hair sticks up every which way. The boy giggles and throws himself at her, growling, and Lise calls for help between laughs.

"I'm getting ravaged by a floof monster," she laughs when Danielle appears the in the doorway to check on them. Her wife blinks at the scene, before she shakes her head in amusement and leans against the doorjamb.

"I think you're not supposed to get them wet," she quips. Lise lets out a chuckle and shakes her head.

"So you set me up?" she asks and sits up, wrapping her arms around their son. Danielle tilts her head and gives a slight shrug.

"Maybe," she smiles. "Come on," she adds, holding her hand out for their child. "Time for bed, Floofy."

Sylvain bares his teeth at her and snaps it jaws shut, prompting Danielle to lift an eyebrow at him.

"I think Maman is serious," Lise murmurs and stands, giving Sylvain a gentle push. "Come on. I'll read you a story while Maman tucks you in."

"Hm, you smell very nice," Danielle mutters half an hour later, when she bends down to kiss Sylvain goodnight. The boy lets out a mumble, his eyes already closing. "Sweet dreams, my love," she whispers as she straightens and leaves the room, pulling the door almost closed.

"You done with work?" Danielle asks as Lise takes her hand and pulls her in the direction of their bedroom.

"Yes," she nods. "I was just reading over everything again," she tells her. "Keeping it fresh in my mind."

"I thought it was good, that you're in court this month," the blonde says with a slight shake of her head. "But I'm starting to think it's driving you crazy."

"It is," Lise confirms as she sits down on their bed and lets herself fall back until she hits the mattress. "I'm always afraid of saying something wrong, of choosing the wrong word, and it getting blown up into something it's not," she sighs and reaches up to pinch the bridge of her nose. Turns her head to the side and finds Danielle laying next to her, looking up at the ceiling with her arms crossed behind her head. Lise turns onto her side, rests her head in her hand and studies her wife.

"Have I told you how much I love you today?"

"Hm," Danielle hums. "Though you were half-asleep then, so I could do with a reminder from an awake Lise," she adds with a sparkle in her eye. Lise leans in and brushes her lips over Danielle's in a gentle caress.

"Je t'aime," she whispers, stroking her cheek as she looks into Danielle's eyes. "Je t'aime tellement."

"Je t'aime aussi," Danielle smiles back and pulls her in for another kiss. "Sylvain," she says after a moment. "He wasn't too rough with you, was he?"

"No," Lise shakes her head. Searches Danielle's eyes. She's looks, content. Happy. "We have to tell him," Lise murmurs, a sigh escaping her.

"I know," Danielle nods, her hand slipping beneath Lise's shirt. She moves it to the front, her fingertips resting against Lise's abdomen as a smile settles on her lips. "I keep trying to figure out how."

"Me, too," Lise laughs. She doesn't want to confuse their son with medical facts. They'd told him that a doctor had helped Danielle and her make him, helped to put him inside Lise's tummy. It's not entirely true, but close enough to the truth that Lise is fine with it. Maybe they should just do the same thing again, this time. When he's older, they can explain the details better.

"Boy or girl?" Danielle asks her, tilting her head a little. Lise finds herself furrowing her brows.

"Is this going to become a nightly thing?" she asks her wife, drawing a soft chuckle from Danielle.

"Maybe," she giggles, before sobering. "No," she shakes her head. "I was just wondering, what you think."

"I think it's a girl," Lise answers after a moment. She'd known, from the moment that she'd found out she was pregnant, that she was having a boy with Sylvain. They hadn't been able to see anything on the ultrasound, he'd always been in very weird positions during Lise's appointments. But somehow, she'd known they were having a son. Granted, the odds hadn't been terrible, really. 50/50 chance, of getting it right.

"Is it bad that I really want you to be right?" Danielle asks, a soft sigh leaving her. "I'll be happy no matter what, I promise. But, a little girl, Lise."

"You haven't gotten it out of your system with Syl?" Lise laughs. Danielle has dressing their son up down to an art. Honestly, Lise doesn't think she's ever seen a three year old have a color-coordinated wardrobe. Maybe, just maybe, it's a bit, overkill. But Lise has to admit that a lot of the outfits are very cute on the boy. And he seems to enjoy it. He's got a mind of his own and isn't shy about letting them know his opinions. If Danielle were doing things he didn't like, even if it was attempting to dress him in clothes he doesn't care for, they'd know.

"What do you want?" the blonde asks her, searching Lise's face. It makes her swallow as she contemplates the question.

"I don't know," she frowns with a slight shake of her head. Reaches out to brush a curl of hair from Danielle's face. "It's already been decided, hasn't it?"

Danielle hums in assent and closes her eyes for a moment.

"Do you think he'll be happy?" Lise asks her softly. The question's been burning at the back of her mind for days. Weeks, even. Since they started trying. The uncertainty, how their son is going to react. Maybe he will be happy. Or maybe he'll be upset. That he'll have to share them, soon. That there will be another little person who needs their attention. Who will scream and cry at all hours and disrupt their routine.

"Yes," Danielle answers, her voice barely above a whisper as she opens her eyes again. "Maybe not all the time. I'm sure there'll be tears and tantrums. But overall, he'll be happy, and excited. He knows we love him, and that won't change at all."

"It won't," Lise confirms.

"God, I love you so much," Danielle beams at her and leans in for a soft kiss, one that makes Lise let out a soft sigh and pull her wife close so she can kiss her again and again and again.

_fin._


	3. Sylvain 'verse #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was already posted on tumblr.

"Do you think..." Danielle trails off, her brows furrowing as she crosses her arms. Leans against the doorjamb, casting a look outside into the backyard, where their children are playing.

"Think what?" Lise asks and slowly walks over. Reaches out to brush a curl behind her wife's ear, searching her face. Danielle lets out a sigh and turns to watch Sylvain and Jojo chase after Pebbles.

"That this is, me," she whispers. "That I am projecting, forcing them into doing something that's not-"

"Stop it," Lise shakes her head. "We have been over this," she reminds her. They have. Countless of times. At first it was, easier. It seemed like moments of body autonomy. Letting their second child decide whether or not they got their hair cut. Allowing them to try out nail polish. Letting them play with their make-up. Asking them what clothes they wanted, and letting them pick the colors they liked.

Lise thinks it was when Jojo had been three, when she started wondering if something was, different. Or more accurately, when she noticed that this was a far cry from anything Sylvain had ever done, at that age. He'd never thrown a fit when they told him it was time for a haircut. He never demanded not to be called by his name. There was always a very tangible difference with him dressing up as a princess, and wearing pants and a shirt every day.

It may have been the dress that really drove it home, for Lise. That, given the choice, Jojo would always put that on. And not to play princess, either. She just liked it, liked wearing it, so much more than anything else. Aside from that kilt they got for Halloween one year.

She's eleven now. If anything, their daughter's insistence that she's a girl has only grown stronger, over the years.

The funny thing is, Lise had been right. She'd thought they were having a girl. Had been almost as sure as she had been that they were having a boy when she'd been pregnant with Sylvain. She'd been floored, upon finding that their second baby also had a penis. She hadn't expected that in the least.

And here they are, eleven years later, and they have a daughter. It just took them a little over three years to realize the initial mistake. Once Jojo got the words to express what she was feeling, it had been relatively easy.

Jojo's name, that's been a nickname, from way back when she was an infant. A play on her birth name. She was four, when she started throwing fits whenever her birth name slipped out. Screamed and yelled that it wasn't her name, she wasn't that. Insisted on being 'Jojo' at home and then to everyone else, too. Danielle and Lise, they sat down with her back then. Got out the baby name book and told her that, if she didn't like her name, she could chose something else. Jojo had seemed confused, but they'd gone through some of the names with her still. In the end, she hadn't liked any of them and had wanted them to call her 'Jojo' still. They regularly check in with her, even now, years later. Just to tell Jojo that she still has a choice. To let her know that she can always change her name, to whatever she wants. Whether that is going back to her birth name, or choosing something else entirely, it would be her choice.

The greatest thing, Lise thinks, aside from Jojo having a mother that so completely understands where she is coming from and what she's going through, is that Sylvain never batted an eye at it. He'd been eight, when it had become apparent that there was more going on with Jojo than what play-acting by cisgender children would be. They'd tried to explain it to him as best as they could, with their daughter still unable to completely express the magnitude of her feelings about her gender identity back then. He'd already known what being transgender meant, Danielle having explained it to him often over the years, introducing more details and concepts as he got older. Lise and her, they'd always made it a point that at no point in her life had Danielle 'been a boy'. She'd lived as one, yes, but even when that had been the case, she'd been a girl the whole time. Maybe that's why it was easy, for Sylvain to accept that the little brother he'd thought he'd had was actually a little sister. Or maybe he'd known even before their parents what was going on with Jojo. He'd never given her a hard time, never even teased her in passing, about her obsession with glitter and tulle.

"Maman!" Jojo shouts and runs over, her long brown curls pulled back into a ponytail. She giggles and lets out a shriek when Sylvain raises the water gun and hits her back.

"Ey, not on the porch!" Danielle reprimands him. Their son slowly lowers the water gun, standing there a little sheepishly, before he goes back to playing with the dog.

"Something wrong?" Lise asks her, poking Jojo's shoulder. Their daughter shakes her head, dripping onto the porch. Maybe letting them run wild like this was a bad idea, Lise thinks. It's almost bedtime for Jojo, but she will be way too wired to go to sleep. Oh well, it's the summer holidays, anyway. She can sleep in if she wants to.

"No," Jojo shakes her head, her brows furrowing as she toys with the small water pistol. "Emma asked, if I could sleep over."

"Ah," Danielle nods, exchanging a knowing look with Lise. They'd been wondering, when Jojo would tell them about the invitation. Emma's mother asked them, if it would be alright, before she made the offer to Jojo. To be honest, Lise is a bit, nervous. She trusts Emma's parents, they're great, and they know, about Jojo being transgender. But their daughter's never been to a sleepover before. She's allowed to have them in their home, Lise doesn't have a problem with that, though she has to admit, cleaning up after up to four additional kids can be rather exhausting and makes her glad they stopped after having two.

"Do you want to?" Lise asks, searching Jojo's face. Their daughter worries at her bottom lip before raising a hand to her mouth.

"Hey," Danielle murmurs and reaches out to redirect her. "Want your putty?"

"No," Jojo shakes her head, the fingers of her free hand twisting into her summer shorts as she tries to keep herself from biting her nails. "I dunno," she shrugs and kicks the porch with a foot. "They, have a pool."

"You know what I used to do?" Danielle asks, lowering her voice to a conspiring whisper. "Whenever I didn't feel like wearing a swimsuit, I would just forget to bring one."

Jojo watches her, frowning.

"I don't wanna lie," she shakes her head.

"Okay," Lise nods. "How about, you and I, or you and Maman, or all of us, we go to the mall tomorrow? I know that there are two piece swimsuits that have cute shorts as bottoms. We could get one of those, for you, if you want?"

"Really?" Jojo asks, her eyes widening, happiness shining in them.

"Yes," Danielle nods. "And we can have a look online, as well. I know I've seen some cute things there."

"You're the best!" Jojo exclaims and wraps her arms around Danielle, hugging her tightly. Lise watches as her wife hugs her back and kisses their daughter's hair.

"I love you," she tells her, before nodding in Lise's direction with an obvious clearing of her throat.

"You're great, too," Jojo grins and Lise lets out a soft laugh as she hugs her, as well.

"Thank you," she tells her. Searches their daughter's face, wondering where on earth the time has gone. It feels like she was a baby just yesterday. And now she's standing here and they're talking about two-piece swimsuits, and Lise can see Jojo's face losing some of its childlike quality.

She's growing up, they both are, Sylvain and Jojo. And as much as she loves seeing them grow, she sometimes misses the moments when they were just tiny little babies in her arms. When she could wrap them up and hold them close and protect them this way. It was so much easier, back then, so shield them from the cruelty of this world.

_fin._


	4. Sylvain 'verse #4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> previously unpublished and final 'chapter' in the Sylvain-and-Jojo 'verse

"There you go," Danielle says, handing their daughter another ornament for their Christmas tree.

"Ugh," the teenager pulls a face at the wooden angel. "Why do you still have that? It looks like crap."

"Hey now," Lise chastises her and reaches out to wrap her arms around Jojo's shoulders from behind. "My daughter made that when she was four. I will not tolerate you bashing it."

"I know, Mama. I remember making it," Jojo shakes her head and brushes some of her curls behind her ear. "Seriously though, do you really want to put that on there?"

"Yes," Danielle nods. "That, and your brother's snowflake, and the pawprint we made when we first got Pebbles. All of those," she says solemnly. Their Italian greyhound lifts his head upon hearing his name, tail wagging excitedly.

"Soon, buddy," Lise assures him. She'd let him out into the backyard, but it's been snowing so much that he might actually disappear in it. She'll take him for a walk in a bit. When they're done decorating the tree.

With a long suffering sigh, Jojo takes the ornament and tries to find a place on the tree for it. Lise doesn't miss that it ends up in a spot where it is hard to see from any place on the couch, or armchair, for that matter. Oh well. She knows it's there, that's the important bit.

"What's up, huh?" Danielle asks when their daughter joins her on the couch. The teen shrugs, running a hand through her hair. It actually looks pretty decent, for once. Okay, Lise could be biased. But honestly, she's pretty glad their daughter got rid of the electric blue and pink ends. As much as Lise is all for experimenting with different tools of self-expression, that one really tested her.

"Nothing," Jojo mutters. Takes an ornament and toys with it for a moment, before setting it back down. "Do you think they'll..." she starts, but trails off. Lise slowly lowers the tinsel she was getting ready to throw onto the tree and meets Danielle's gaze.

"They, what?" she prompts gently. Walks over to join her wife and daughter on the couch, squishing Jojo between the two of them. The girl lets out a soft yelp, and Lise pulls her in, kissing her temple loudly.

"Mama!" Jojo exclaims and wipes at her skin, pulling a face, but Lise sees her lips tug into a soft smile.

"Talk to us," Danielle prompts her gently. "What's going on in this freaky head of yours?"

Lise watches as the fifteen year old lets out a sigh and worries at her bottom lip.

"It just... They haven't seen me, in a while," she shrugs, her brows furrowing. "I guess... I don't know," she shakes her head.

A little over a year, to be precise. The last time Lise's parents were around Jojo was shortly after she'd started taking estrogen.

It had been their mutual decision. Danielle's, Lise's, and Jojo's. Lise had found herself feeling uncomfortable with some of the comments her parents had made, out of their granddaughter's earshot. She'd spoken to Danielle about it and found to no surprise that her wife felt much the same way. They'd sat down with Jojo then, and spoke to her, about her feelings, regarding her grandparents and their stance on her transition. How they made her feel, if she was comfortable being around them, and giving her the option of not being in contact for a while, if she wanted to. That this 'break' went on for as long as it did has been due to her parents continued 'concern' regarding Jojo's HRT.

It's almost funny, to Lise, to hear her parents, who have no idea of the extent of Jojo's discomfort and emotional turmoil, talk about what would be best for the teenager. As if Lise and Danielle hadn't considered anything else. They have. They've tried everything in the book. Are still doing it, actually. Jojo regularly sees a therapist, they've actually bumped up the number of her sessions to twice a week again. She's taking medication, as well, to combat her severe anxiety disorder. That's not a decision any of them took lightly. They're talking about a still developing brain, after all. But when the alternative for hormone treatment, and anti-anxiety medication is having a child that has multiple breakdowns a day and can't leave the house without a panic attack, then that doesn't sound like a viable alternative at all to her.

And Jojo is happy. She's improved so much, since she started taking hormones. She was on testosterone blockers before. That helped, too, but it became apparent that it wasn't enough. Her daughter is a teenager, she wanted puberty, wanted the changes her body was supposed to go through. Denying her that, delaying it until she'd be an adult, that had seemed so incredibly cruel.

That she's seeing her therapist more often now, that recent bump in sessions, is because, much to Lise's amazement, her daughter has found herself a boyfriend. It's not that she's amazed that a boy her age would want to date Jojo. She's a great girl, in Lise's more than a little biased opinion. But she'd thought that dating was the last thing on her daughter's mind. Apparently, she'd been mistaken in that regard. And it worries her, if she's honest. Dating, and everything surrounding it, all the possible causes for heartbreak.

"It'll be at the restaurant," Danielle says, her voice pulling Lise from her thoughts. "We're taking both cars. You're free to leave, at any point. Just tell Mama or me, and we'll go. Wherever you want, home or somewhere else."

Jojo lets out a soft sigh and worries at her lip again.

"And I really can't bring Kareem?"

"Let's take it one step at a time, huh?" Lise shakes her head with a smile. "I think it would be better if it's just us, for the first meeting. If things go well and you want to see them again, we'll do that. And we can talk about maybe introducing them to Kareem if things continue to be alright. But let's keep the boyfriend out of this, for the time being, d'accord?"

"You can invite him over for the day after, if you want," Danielle offers. "Or go see him."

Lise gives her a look, but her wife shakes her head minutely, mouthing a 'later' at her. Oh yes, they are going to talk about this later, she can bet her nicely shaped behind on that.

Jojo lets out a sigh and turns, resting her head on Lise's chest. She wraps her arms around her and holds her close.

"I love you," she murmurs and gently strokes her curls back from her face.

"Love you, too," the teenager replies before sitting up again. "Can I take Pebbles out?"

"What? Already done with the tree?" Danielle teases her briefly, causing their daughter to roll her eyes. "Yes, you may," she agrees. "But put on a hat, and take your phone with you."

"Sure," Jojo nods, getting up. "Come on, Pebbie," she calls the dog, slapping her leg to get him to follow her. Pebbles stands and starts bounding after her, tail wagging.

"So much for that help," Danielle sighs, taking in the chaos that is their living room.

"You got me," Lise shrugs and leans over to plant a loud kiss on her wife's cheek.

"Just what I was afraid of," her wife laughs, cradling her face to pull Lise into a real kiss.

_fin._


	5. standalone #1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> already posted on tumblr

Danielle's eyes are wide as she stares at Lise, her brows slowly furrowing. Her mouth opens and closes, twice, before she takes a deep breath.

She didn't mean to just, blurt it out like this. She'd wanted to go have dinner at a lovely restaurant and take a walk after. Hold Danielle's hand as they return home. She'd thought that there would be rose petals, in the house, leading from the door to their bedroom. A heart made of petals on the sheets, and candlelight to set the mood. Lise had thought she'd take her hands and tell her, how much she loves her. How amazing her life is, with Danielle in it. How she loves the way she smiles, and laughs, and how beautiful she is, when Lise wakes up next to her and Danielle is still half-asleep and squinting in the early morning light.

Instead, she did it here. Sitting on a bench at the park. While they're watching Danielle's niece and nephew. Crisse, she doesn't even have the ring with her, for crying out loud.

"I'm sorry?" Danielle murmurs and searches Lise's face. She swallows and looks over to check that the kids are still preoccupied with their game. When she looks at Danielle again, she finds herself melting at the shy and hopeful expression in her eyes.

"Marry me," she repeats. "I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And yes, you deserve much better than a proposal like this, but I guess my, heart got ahead of my brain, and here we are. So, I'm asking. Will you make me even happier than I already am and become my wife?"

Danielle swallows thickly and inclines her head.

"Lise..." she breathes, and Lise feels her heart plummeting. Oh no. Tabarnak. She'd thought, she thought they were happy. That they were on the same page. That Danielle loves her, and wants to be with her as much as Lise does.

"I'm, sorry," she whispers and ducks her head. "I thought... I'm, I'm sorry," she mumbles and reaches up to pinch the bridge of her nose in an attempt to have the pain stop her tears.

"Wha-- no, no, I didn't mean," Danielle mutters and Lise feels her take her hands and squeeze them, hard. She looks over at her and finds Danielle watching her, her green eyes brimming with tears. "I love you. I love you so much. And I do, I want to marry you. You just, you, surprised me. I didn't expect this, at all."

Lise blinks, staring at Danielle as her brain tries to catch up with what's happening.

"Wait, what?"

"I want to marry you," the blonde repeats. Lets go of one of Lise's hands to cradle her cheek, a soft sniffle escaping her. "I want to be your wife."

"Really?" Lise asks, uncertain. "We don't have to. It's, it's fine-"

"Oh no," Danielle frowns as she shakes her head. "You don't get to take it back. You asked, now you're stuck with my answer."

Lise lets out a soft chuckle and shakes her head.

"Oh gosh," she murmurs and reaches up to wipe a tear from her face. "I'll, I'll give you the ring, when we're back at home."

"What?" Danielle breathes. "Wait, you, you actually have a ring?"

"Of course I do," Lise replies. "This wasn't a spur-of-the-moment decision. I've been thinking of asking for, weeks. Months, even."

"Why didn't you say..." Danielle murmurs and closes her eyes for a moment. "How did I not see this coming?" she asks. Looks at Lise, searching her face. "You've got a ring."

"Yes," Lise nods. Swallows, hard. "I wanted to, get it right. I mean, this is the first and only time I was ever going to propose, to someone, and I wanted it to be, special, and perfect. Not at a playground, surrounded by yelling kids," she says, pulling a face when one of said kids lets out a particularly high-pitched shriek.

Danielle's face softens and she leans over to brush her lips over Lise's. "Je t'aime," she murmurs, rubbing her nose against Lise's before she leans back. "And this may not have been someone else's definition of 'perfect'," she says, squeezing Lise's hand. "But I think it's perfect, for us."

"You're still getting your ring, once we get home," Lise smiles. Shifts and tilts her head so she can rest her forehead against Danielle's for a moment. "I love you," she tells her. "More than I ever thought possible. And I want to spend the rest of our lives together. I want to grow old, with you. With you at my side. Wake up next to you every day, fall asleep to the sound of your voice. All of that, the whole package."

"I would love to do all of that," Danielle replies. Slowly withdraws and checks her watch. "We should start packing up, though. We did promise them ice cream."

"You promised them ice cream," Lise reminds her.

"What? You want to ditch me? After just getting engaged?" Danielle grins and Lise shakes her head at her.

"You're impossible," she sighs and captures her lips again in a soft kiss. "But I knew that already."

"That you did," Danielle nods and gets up from the park bench, to get her niece and nephew. Lise watches her approach the kids and wonders how they ended up here. What forces in the universe conspired to make her find Danielle.

Whatever they are, Lise is eternally grateful that they did.

_fin._


	6. Tara 'verse #1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> previously unpublished

Lise looks down in surprise when she feels the little tug on her hand. Finds Tara standing next to her, her plush doll clutched closed to her chest.

"Hello there," she smiles down at the little girl. Resists the urge to reach out and touch the child.

Tara shifts and shuffles a little closer, pressing against Lise's leg.

Yesterday was, rough. Tara had been so upset and hadn't wanted to be anywhere near her, barely able to be in the same room as Lise. Today seems to be much better, though, and it's a relief.

Danielle looks over at them, a soft smile tugging on her lips when she sees their daughter and Lise so close.

"Hey you two," she smiles. "Do you want a hug from maman?" she asks Tara, making the ASL sign for 'hug' as she asks the little girl.

She's been with them for three months now. Lise took off the first month and a half from work, to be home with Danielle and Tara. To be around as much as possible, as their daughter got settled in.

She's four years old, and tiny for her age, though she's been gaining weight. Which is a huge relief, given how much of a struggle eating had been, in the beginning.

Tara is severely behind in development. When they took her in, she'd barely been able to walk, at all. Now she's doing much better, though she's still toddling around, her gross and fine motor skills nowhere near where they should be, for a child of her age. She's still in diapers, day and night. Doesn't eat by herself. And doesn't talk.

They hadn't been sure at first, if it's an issue of her not being able to, or not wanting to. Slowly, Danielle and her are discovering that it's a mixture of both. Tara doesn't know any words, but in the beginning, she barely made any sounds at all. Aside from screaming.

That was the most painful thing, Lise thinks. The week or so, where everything Danielle or her did to the girl was met by loud screaming. Not even crying, but blood-curdling screams of fear and anguish. It didn't matter what it was, whether it was changing her diaper, giving her a bath, trying to feed her, helping her to put on her clothes, all of it Tara reacted to by terrified screeching.

They've come a long way, since then. Before Lise had to leave for Toronto, Tara was starting to actually go to her for cuddles. Which is huge. Given that she couldn't stand being touched at the beginning, and even holding her hand was overwhelming and terrifying for their daughter, to have her seek them out and willingly cuddle close and relax against either one of them, it brings so much joy that Lise can't put it into words.

And then Cardinal and her caught a case, and she had to go to Toronto for four days. Four days she hasn't been at the house, where Tara didn't see her for more than ten minutes on FaceTime.

She'd run from her when Lise got home yesterday. She'd seen her and her eyes had gotten huge and she'd actually run from the room, tearing Lise's heart out. To see their daughter so scared of her again, it's been heartbreaking.

She's taken the rest of the week off work. She needs to be home, needs to re-establish her connection with their daughter. Danielle tries, she tried so hard yesterday, to coax Tara out, to get her close to Lise. It just hadn't worked. She'd had to do everything they usually split up between them. Had had Tara in her lap for dinner and fed her, the girl trying to get as far away from Lise as possible while being in the same room. Bathtime had been an absolute nightmare, Tara crying while Danielle cleaned her up. They'd both silently agreed that Lise wasn't going to step foot into the child's room. As important as being around for Tara to see her may have been, Lise had wanted her to know that she was safe in her room. It's her sanctuary, where she can hide if she needs to. They can't risk ruining that level of basic trust.

"Do you need something?" Danielle asks and crouches down a few steps away. Lise watches them for a moment. Watches as Danielle kneels down and slumps a little, to make herself smaller. Tara reaches up and rubs her dollie over her face, a shuddering breath leaving her.

"Are you thirsty? Do you want a drink?" Danielle asks her gently and makes the sign for drink. "Are you hungry? Do you want a snack?" she asks when Tara keeps watching her, and adds the sign as well. "Do you want cuddles?" Danielle inquires and makes the sign for 'hug'. It seems like Tara perks up at that. But instead of going to Danielle, Lise feels the little girl take her hand and hold onto it tightly.

"Do you want Lise to cuddle you?"

Lise slowly moves. Carefully lowers herself to the floor and sits down, allowing Tara to hold her hand the whole time.

She loves the little girl. She absolutely does. She's so sweet, and Lise's heart keeps breaking for her.

"Hello Tara," Lise smiles at her. "Do you want a hug?" she asks, making the ASL sign for it. The girl shifts, not looking at Lise, but Danielle.

"It's okay, sweetie," Danielle tells her. "It's Lise, she's your Mama," she explains, using the sign for 'L' for Lise. They haven't figured out something for the distinction between 'mama' and 'maman' yet, aside from using the letters of their first names. The ASL sign for 'mommy' is the same as the LSQ sign for 'maman', so that doesn't work. Lise thinks using their initials followed by 'mommy' might be the best version they'll have, until Tara starts talking and saying who or what she wants or needs.

She'll never understand how anyone can hurt a child like this. How people dare to call themselves 'parents' and do things as horrible as what Tara's parents have done.

The girl sniffles and hides her face in the doll. Lise swallows thickly and exchanges a glance with Danielle, who gives a helpless shrug. She doesn't know what she wants any more than Lise does.

"I love you," Lise tells her, keeping her voice low. Reaches out and places her index finger on Tara's little hand. She sees her peek out from behind her plushie, casting a glance at Lise. Slowly lowers her doll and Lise pulls back her hand.

Tara frowns and looks between Danielle and Lise. Shifts from one foot to the other.

"Do you have to go potty?" Lise asks her gently. They haven't discussed yet, how they are going to approach potty training. Though the recommendation had been to focus on one issue at a time. Lise thinks that potty training, it's very low on their list of priorities right now.

Tara purses her lips and rubs her dollie over her face, before turning and taking the few steps that separate her from Lise. She freezes as Tara wraps her arms around her neck and hides her face against her chest, a soft sigh leaving her.

"Hello my love," she breathes softly and slowly, carefully, wraps her arms around the little girl.

"Ma," Tara murmurs and Lise clenches her eyes shut against the sudden onslaught of tears. She cradles the little girl's head and holds her close, kissing her soft hair.

"I love you so much," she whispers. "I am so, so proud of you, my love," Lise tells her. She sees Danielle get up and walk over to join the two of them. Feels her wife squeeze her shoulder as she gently wipes the tears from Lise's face with the other hand.

They can do this. As difficult as it may be, sometimes. As heartbreaking as some days are, Lise knows that it will all be worth it. For moments like this, when their daughter feels safe with them. They’re so lucky, to have her. Their little family.

_fin._


	7. Tara 'verse #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> previously unpublished and final 'chapter' in the Tara 'verse

"Pwease," Tara pleads and looks up at Lise with her big eyes, bottom lip jutting out.

She's starting to think that their daughter is doing this on purpose. That she has figured out just what look to give Lise to get her to give in.

But it's so hard to resist, especially when she looks at Lise like this. When she says 'please' in her tiny voice and gives her this puppy look that says there's nothing more she wants in the entire world-

"No," Danielle shakes her head and reaches out to pick Tara up and put her in her lap. "We've talked about this. We are not getting a puppy, my love."

"Buh I wanna doggie," the little girl sniffles and reaches up to rub her eyes. Lise hears Danielle let out a soft sigh and watches as she kisses their daughter's temple.

"We can't have a dog, Tara-bean," Lise tells her. "We don't have the time for it. It wouldn't be fair, to get a doggie, and then not give them the attention they need."

The six-year old sticks out her bottom lip, pouting.

"Look," Danielle says, "we can go see Uncle Jack-jack, okay? You can play with his dog. But we are not getting one."

"Kitty?" Tara tries and causes Lise to let out a soft laugh.

"No kitty, either, I'm afraid," she tells her. Their daughter lets out a defeated sigh and slumps against Danielle. Lise watches as her face slowly crumbles and she starts to cry, her heart aching for Tara.

"Sh, it's okay," Danielle murmurs and changes her hold on their daughter. Tara wraps her arms around her and hides her face against Danielle's neck as she rubs her back. "I know you're upset. That's okay. You can be sad, and angry, at us. Mama and I still love you, a lot," she assures her. Rocks herself a little as she holds their child.

Lise draws a slow breath, searching Danielle's face. The blonde closes her eyes for a moment, before she opens them again and gives a minute shake of her head.

They've been talking about this for a month, now. The possibility, or lack thereof, of getting a pet. Lise is completely against a dog. They just don't have the time for it, and as she said, it would be immensely unfair to any dog they would get. She works all kinds of hours, and while Danielle is home with Tara, most of her time and attention is taken up by various therapies and home school for their daughter.

She could be talked into a cat. Lise likes them, thinks they're great, and their more independant nature might work out with their lifestyle. But there is the little fact that Danielle is allergic. Okay, it's not so little, given how intense her reactions are. It's not the mild eye irritation some people get, her wife breaks out into hives and has trouble breathing, and that's not something Lise would even consider subjecting her to.

They have spoken to Tara's therapists, and some of them have argued that a pet might be good, for the girl. Encourage emotional bonding, and allow her to take over some responsibility in the house. Lise knows that, sooner or later, they will end up with a furry critter in their home. Danielle is strictly against mice or rats, and Lise tends to agree with her on that. She thinks something bigger might be better, for Tara, given that she can get a little, rough, at times. Not intentionally, but her motor skills are still a bit, off, and at times she misjudges how much force she uses.

It's not a good idea, to tell Tara, though. That they will eventually get a pet, for her. She'd get impatient and having to wait would just upset her. And until Danielle and her have an actual idea of what animal may be the most fitting for their kid, Lise thinks keeping all of these plans to themselves is the best way to go.

And in the meantime, they can see Danielle's brother Jean, who has a black labrador. Tara loves the dog, and he's patient with her and lets her pull his ears and fur as she cuddles him. It will also mean more interactions of their daughter with her two cousins, something her social skills desperately need.

"Mama," Tara murmurs and reaches for Lise, who pulls her into her lap and kisses her forehead.

"I love you," she tells her, holding their daughter close. "Come on, how about we call Uncle Jack-jack, huh? Ask if he has any plans for the weekend, and if he doesn't, Maman, you and me can visit. How does that sound?" she asks and Tara brightens somewhat.

"Get phone," she says and climbs off Lise's lap.

"I think it's on the table," Danielle tells her and Tara wanders off, looking for her mother's phone.

"You do realize that this weekend is our anniversary, right?" Danielle asks, tilting her head slightly. Lise lets out a soft sigh and gives a nod.

"Yes," she admits. "That's why I know I have the weekend off. I had dinner reservations, as well," she adds with a sad shake of her head. It makes Danielle let out a soft laugh and Lise watches her wife lean over and brush her lips over Lise's in a gentle kiss.

"Je t'aime," she tells her, her voice soft. "Maybe we can get her to stay with Jean for a bit, so we can go for ice cream or something," she muses.

"Maybe," Lise agrees, her stomach knotting at the memory of how their last attempt of getting a babysitter for Tara had turned out. But it's too early, to worry about this now. They first have to talk to Jean, find out if he has time for them to visit this weekend.

"Does she know the passcode, for your phone?" Lise asks, suddenly wondering why their daughter is taking so long. Danielle furrows her brows and slowly shakes her head no.

"I don't think so," she says. "She hasn't seen me unlock it, I don't think," she frowns, just as their daughter returns to the living room.

"Wanna call Ja-ja," Tara says and holds the phone out to Danielle, who takes it and makes sure that Tara can't see the screen as she unlocks it. Their daughter may be fuzzy on reading, and the concept of numbers, but she can remember symbols pretty well. They found out the hard way that her seeing them unlock their phones means she can do it, as well. Lise has lost count of the number of times she's had to change her passcode this past year. Right now, it's Cardinal's birthday, because it's one she can remember and hasn't used before. Her own birthday, Danielle's birthday, Tara's birthday and adoption date, their wedding anniversary, their zip code, all of them Tara has seen and figured out, and Lise thinks the risk of her trying them out again is too big to use them a second time.

"Let me talk to him first, okay," Danielle says as she selects her brother's number. Tara climbs back into Lise's lap and she wraps her arms around their daughter, holding her close and kissing the crown of her head.

"I love you," she murmurs softly, as they wait for her brother-in-law to pick up his phone.

_fin._


	8. standalone #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> previously unpublished

Lise draws a shaky breath and closes her eyes. Braces her hands on the bathroom counter and leans forward a little, her head dropping.

"Shit," she breathes softly, raising her head and staring at her reflection.

Lise gives a slight shake of her head and straightens. Turns on the faucet, waiting until the water is icy, before she lowers her head and splashes her face with cold water. She grabs a towel and dabs herself dry before hanging it up again. Leaves the bathroom and reaches back to kill the light.

"Are you okay?"

"Jesus Christ!" Lise yells as she jumps, her heart racing in her chest. She presses her hand against her chest and braces herself on the wall, panting.

"I'm sorry," Danielle apologizes softly. "I woke up, and you weren't in bed..."

"God, you almost killed me," Lise whispers with a shake of her head, her heart still racing. She'd been so lost in her thoughts, she hadn't heard her, or seen her in the darkness of their home.

"What's going on?" Danielle inquires and steps closer. Reaches out a hand, holding it out in silent invitation and inquiry. Lise gives a small shake of her head and takes her hand, pulling Danielle closer. Rests her forehead against her wife's as she draws a calming breath.

"I nearly pissed myself," she chuckles. "Don't sneak up on me like this."

"I didn't mean to," Danielle murmurs and strokes her cheek, raising their joined hands between them so she can kiss Lise's knuckles. "I got, worried. When I found you gone. You've been... for a lack of better word, weird, this evening," she frowns.

"Weird?" Lise repeats, blinking. Maybe she hadn't done as well a job as she'd thought, of hiding her emotions.

"Spacing out, barely talking to me..." Danielle shrugs. "Something happen, at work?" she asks softly. Lise swallows thickly, then shakes her head.

"Nothing unusual," she tells her. It's been three years now, since Dyson established the Child Protection Force and Lise transferred over. It's difficult, sometimes, working these cases, watching some people walk when everything in Lise wants to see them hang. She isn't usually one in favor of capital punishment, but when it comes to people who abuse children, sometimes her emotions get the better of her. But right now, they don't have any particularly nasty cases. Some follow-ups with Social Servies, but it's nothing she can't deal with.

"Something I did?" her wife asks carefully, searching her face. Lise feels her eyes widen and quickly shakes her head.

"No," she tells Danielle. "No, I'm not, upset with you," she murmurs and leans in for a soft kiss.

"Then what has you out of bed in the middle of the night?" Danielle frowns. If it were just that she had to use the bathroom, well, Lise would have used the one upstairs, where their bedroom is. Instead, she went downstairs, to use the guest bathroom. Because she needed some time, to herself. Needed a few moments, to process what she was pretty sure she'd come to find.

Lise swallows thickly and takes a slow breath, letting it out deliberately through her mouth.

"I, uh... I, didn't get my period," she whispers. Watches, as Danielle blinks stupidly.

"What?" she asks, frowning. Lise lets out a soft laugh and shakes her head.

"I'm ten days late, Danielle. And my boobs are sore. And I can't stand the smell of coffee."

"Wait. Wait, what?" the blonde breathes, her eyes widening almost comically. "You're, you're serious? This isn't some weird joke, you trying to deflect-"

"I'm serious," Lise cuts her off. "I went downstairs, to, take a test. I couldn't sleep, I kept thinking, this isn't happening, it can't be, surely I'm wrong..." she trails off, feeling tears spring to her eyes.

Danielle swallows thickly and squeezes her hand.

"I wasn't," Lise shakes her head. "I'm pregnant, Dani."

She watches as Danielle's eyes fill with tears. And then her wife lets out a soft laugh, and drops her hand in favor of pulling Lise into a bone-crushing hug.

"Je t'aime," she whispers, kissing her hair as she holds onto Lise. Who wraps her arms around Danielle and hides her face against her neck, the tension of the last few hours releasing, finally leaving her. She finds herself let out a soft sob as she holds onto her wife for dear life.

This is, this is absolutely crazy. They've talked, about the possibility of having children. Danielle has some sperm frozen, they're currently saving up, for hormone treatment for Lise, and AI. There are only so many chances that they're going to get, there's only a limited supply of sperm, so increasing the odds had seemed like a good idea. Only it turns out, they apparently don't need that. They've managed perfectly fine, on their own.

Jesus Christ, Lise still can't believe that this is real. This is really happening, she's actually pregnant.

She hears Danielle let out a soft sniffle before her wife leans back to capture her lips in a soft kiss.

"I'm," she starts, her brows dipping, "speechless," she chuckles. Reaches up to cradle Lise's face, looks into her eyes, her expression so loving, so soft, that it makes Lise melt.

"I can't believe this happened," Lise whispers. Ducks her head and feels Danielle brush her lips over her forehead in a gentle caress.

"Miracle baby," she breathes, tearing a soft laugh from Lise. It is. Their little miracle. Holy shit, they're going to be parents.

Lise swallows, and forces herself to look at her wife again. Searches her face. She feels like she already knows the answer to this, but she has to ask. Has to make sure, that they're on the same page, here. "Are we, doing this?" she asks her, holding her breath for a moment.

"Yes," Danielle replies immediately. "I know it's a lot sooner, than we thought, but honestly... isn't sooner, better, in this case?" she frowns. Gives a small shake of her head. "I'm here. We said we want children. Let's take this chance, let's do this."

Lise finds herself smiling at her and leans in to brush her lips over Danielle's again.

"It, doesn't bother you?" she inquires softly. "How I got pregnant?"

"You mean the fact that I managed to get you pregnant without help?" the blonde responds, lifting an eyebrow. Her lips tug into a mischievious grin and she nudges Lise's nose with her own. "It's actually doing wonders, for my ego. Who knew this trans girl had it in her?"

"Danielle!" Lise exclaims, shaking her head when Danielle bursts into laughter.

"I'm joking," the blonde says and gently strokes her cheeks, looking into Lise's eyes. "I love you. This, this is making me very, very happy. It doesn't bother me, how our little wonder came about. Honestly, I doubt it will, in the future. Though we may run into some, issues, explaining this to people," she adds with a tilt of her head. It makes Lise let out a soft groan when she thinks of the awkwardness that will be that particular conversation, with her parents. They don't know, that Danielle is trans. Actually, they were working themselves up to telling them, wanting to preempt any possible 'what if your children want to know who the father is?' kind of questions in regards to their plans for AI.

"We're having a baby," she murmurs. Feels her lips tug into a soft smile, happiness bubbling up inside of her. She's still, floored. Still blindsided by this. But she wants this. She wants to have a child, with her wife. Wants this baby.

"We are," Danielle grins. "Come on, Maman. Let's get you back into bed."

"I don't think I will be able to sleep, tonight," Lise shakes her head, allowing Danielle to pull her over to the stairs nonetheless.

"Me, neither," her wife shrugs. "But my feet are getting cold, and I much rather cuddle with you in our bed, than stand around in the darkness. I can grin like an idiot when I'm laying down, as well," she quips.

"That you can," Lise nods, giving her wife's hand a squeeze as they make their way up the stairs.

* * *

"Ma-ma."

"Dadadada."

"Ma-ma."

"Ahwah?"

"Ma. Ma."

"Aren't you getting tired of this?"

Lise looks over to the doorway, to find Danielle leaning against the doorjamb.

"Mamamamama!"

"You've got to be kidding me," Lise mutters and gives the baby a glare. Their daughter doesn't seem at all perturbed, too busy in her attempt to throw herself off Lise's lap and at Danielle.

"Hello my love," Danielle smiles at the baby and walks over, picking her up with a bright smile. One that their little miracle returns, her face threatening to split in two as she laughs with her Maman.

She tries not to get upset about it. But Laetitia has been stringing 'ma's together in reference to Danielle for almost an entire week now. Yet she gives no indication at all, to do anything of the sort for Lise. Lise is every possible syllable that their child is able to utter. At this point, she'd be happy with a 'Li', or something that could be her name. But no. Laetitia keeps stringing nonsense together, instead of saying 'Mama'.

"Are you having fun with Mama?" Danielle asks the baby, kissing her cheek. Laetitita babbles along, hindered considerably by her simultaneous attempt of stuffing her fist into her mouth. She does manage to fit an impressive four fingers inside, drool dripping everywhere. Lise watches as Danielle pulls a face and grabs a baby wipe from the packet on the couch table, to clean her.

"Drool machine," she mutters as she sits down next to Lise on their couch.

"Poop machine, too," Lise nods, grimacing at the memory of the mess she cleaned earlier.

"Little monster," Danielle laughs and blows a raspberry on Laetitia's cheek. "Miracle monster," she sighs as she rubs her back gently.

The baby giggles, clapping her hands in excitement and leaning in so Danielle will tickle her cheek again. She does, four times, before she decides it's enough, for the moment.

"Shouldn't you be napping?" she asks the baby, holding her in her lap.

"I've been trying to teach her the clock. She's not interested," Lise remarks solemnly. Danielle blinks at her, for a moment, and she bursts into a laugh as she shakes her head. "I put her down for a bit, but I think she had a bad dream. She was screaming her little head off, weren't you?" she asks the baby and reaches out to smooth her soft hair back.

When she was born, Laetitia had pretty dark hair. Once that fell out, the hair that grew in after was soft and a light blonde, lighter even than Danielle's. It is kind of cute, Lise has to admit. She'd expected their child to inherit Danielle's curls, especially given that her wife's brother also has curly hair and his two children do, as well. But either Laetitia's hair is still too fine for that, or, and that is what Lise is suspecting, that gene didn't get passed on.

"So you're trying to get her to call you Mama, instead?" Danielle lifts an eyebrow, causing Lise to give a shrug.

"Vocalization excercises and bonding seemed like a good activity," she tries, prompting her wife to let out a laugh.

"Someone's been reading smart books," she mock-whispers to their daughter, who watches her with big eyes. Reaches for Danielle's necklace, before errupting into a big yawn.

"Oh my goodness," the blonde exclaims softly. "You are tired, aren't you?" she murmurs and hugs the baby close. Rocks her a little as she relaxes back into the couch, Laetitia struggling briefly, before she relaxes against her mother. Rubs a hand over her eyes, and promptly sticks her fingers into her mouth again.

"Here," Lise murmurs and gently pulls her hand away, holding the baby's pacifier against her lips. Laetitia takes it and sucks away on it, her eyes beginning to droop and close. She shudders briefly and Danielle shushes her, holding her close and kissing the crown of her head as the baby falls asleep against her.

"How was your meeting?" Lise asks, keeping her voice low in order not to disturb their napping daughter.

"It went, okay?" Danielle frowns, shaking her head slightly. "I was actually thinking... Do you still want to go back to work?" she inquires softly.

When Laetitia had been born, they'd said that Lise would stay home with her. Danielle took two months off, as well, but both of them staying home for longer just hadn't been an option, financially. They have discussed the possibility, of switching. Lise figured that she'd want to go back to work after around a year, and neither her, nor Danielle had liked the thought of putting the baby into daycare at that age. Which is how the idea of Lise going back to work, and Danielle taking a year off came about. Only now, as their daughter gets older, Lise is starting to think that maybe, she doesn't want to go back to work just yet. She has a little over two months remaining, until Laetitia's birthday, but she doubts she will change her mind in that time.

She loves being home with her. Loves spending her time with the baby, loves seeing her grow every single day. It's so strange. Before having her, she'd thought it would be, difficult, to stay home for so long. But while there have been moments when she's struggled, it's never been because she hates being a full-time mom. She misses work sometimes, yes, but the baby more than makes up for that.

"Why are you asking?" Lise responds, instead of giving Danielle an answer. Watches, as her wife runs a hand through her curls and kisses Laetitia's head again.

"You know, how we were looking for staff to run the shelter?" she asks, and Lise has a rough idea of where this is going. "They offered me a leadership position. Not running it, but senior staff status," Danielle tells her.

"That's great!" Lise exclaims. She knows how much her wife has been working her butt off, to see their idea of a shelter for at-risk LGBTQ+ youth realized. She's been so passionate about it, she's poured so much of her energy and heart into it, it's great to see her get recognition for it.

"Thanks," Danielle smiles brightly, before it falters. "But I, I can't really accept it, can I? I mean, we open in six weeks. I'd only be on for, a month. It doesn't seem fair, blocking a senior staff position that I know I will be leaving. It feels like it should go to someone else, someone who'll stay on. It's important that the core staff are consistent, especially during the first year-"

"And if you don't leave?" Lise asks. Watches, as Danielle's eyes widen. "I've been thinking," she admits. "I wasn't going to say anything, because I thought you wanted this, and I didn't want to, get in-between you and your chance to have this, bonding experience, with Laetitia," she tells her. "But, I'm not entirely sure that I want to give it up. I miss work, sometimes, yes, but I love staying at home with her a lot more than I miss it."

Danielle takes a slow breath, watching their daughter's sleeping face.

"I feel like I should feel, horrible," she murmurs. "I love her, so much. I should want to be home with her, I should want to be here, more than I want to be at work, away from her," she says, tears brimming in her eyes.

"Hey," Lise breathes and reaches out to touch her cheek, stroke it gently. "I know you love her. Laetitia knows you love her, so much. You are here, you're a good maman. I don't think for a second that you love working more than you love our daughter," she shakes her head, trying to reassure her wife. "But I also know, how much this project means to you. I think it would be stupid to leave it now. Look," she argues, shifting so she faces Danielle fully. "I am more than happy, to stay at home with her. I don't have any projects at work that need me. You do. So why would we change something that works, for us, when it's apparent that neither of us really wants to? That the three of us are happy with the way things are?"

"I'm her maman, though," Danielle argues softly, a sniffle escaping her.

"You are," Lise nods. "And you do everything a mother does. You hold her, you calm her down, you sing to her, you change her diapers, you feed her, you rock her to sleep, you bathe her, you make her laugh and giggle, and most importantly, you love her unconditionally. When you do those things doesn't matter, Danielle. You don't stop being a mother because the hours you are at home are a bit different from others."

Her wife lets out a sigh and hugs the baby close. Lise watches as their daughter's pacifier moves frantically before it slows down again.

"I don't want her to think I didn't love her enough to give up my job later," the blonde admits, her voice barely audible.

"Why would she?" Lise frowns. "How many men live in this country who barely take off time after their kids are born?"

"I'm not a man," Danielle reminds her, an edge creeping into her voice, letting Lise know the comparision was probably not wise, given her wife's gender identity.

"I know that," she assures her. "You're my wife, and a beautiful woman, and I love you for that. But you don't think working men are less of a parent because they work. You don't think that of single mothers, either. Financially speaking, one of us has to work. You want to work, you like your job, you love this project. So if there is a way for you to stay on, why not take it?"

"I feel like," Danielle starts, drawing a shuddering breath, "I shouldn't even want this. Shouldn't be thinking about it. She should be my top priority, nothing else," she shakes her head. "My mother never worked, while my brother and I lived at home. Even when we were in high school, she didn't. She was always home, always there when we returned from school..." she trails off, her brows furrowing.

"My mother did that, too," Lise nods. "But I had plenty of friends whose parents both worked, at least part-time," she shrugs.

Danielle worries at her bottom lip, watching the sleeping baby in her arms.

"You really think that, I'm still a good mother?" she asks softly. "Even if I, take this offer?"

"Of course," Lise quickly nods. Leans over to rest her forehead against her wife's temple and to kiss her cheek. "I love you. You're an amazing mother. And I think Laetitia, she'll be proud of you, later on. When she can understand how important this is. I am proud of you and your work, darling."

"I can't make this decision, right now," Danielle whispers with a shake of her head.

"That's alright," Lise tells her. "I just want you to know, I'm more than happy, to extend my leave. Kind of actually looking forward to doing it," she adds, ducking her head a little in embarrassment.

"Sh, it's okay," Danielle murmurs when their daughter jerks in her arms. "Come on, baby. Let's get you to bed, huh?" she says and stands, cradling their daughter close. Lise watches her leave the room, wishing she could take those feelings of guilt off her. She knows she can't, that this is something Danielle has to work through on her own. She just wishes she could see how amazing she is, with the baby, and how little it matters to their daughter when their mother is home, just that when she is, Laetitia has her attention.

She reaches up and runs a hand through her hair, allowing a sigh to leave her lips. They'll figure out something.

_fin._


	9. la petite mort à la fierté - standalone #3 [RATED M!]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> already posted to tumblr. title is a play on words. if you want music to play in the background (since this is set at a club), may i suggest [ ‘World Falls Apart’ by Dash Berlin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGO-21M7RaU) (aka the music Riley Blue plays when we first meet her on Sense8)
> 
> **RATED M!** contains sexual content

The thing she loves most, about Pride, is that she doesn't feel alone. That there is this sense of belonging. That Lise knows she has a community she is a part of, that there are people out there in this world who share her feelings, her thoughts and desires and her worries.

The second best thing, is being able to make out and not have someone bat an eye at it.

Danielle's hips move to the throbbing beat of the music at the club and Lise grinds up against her, her arms wrapped tightly around her girlfriend's neck as Danielle's rest on Lise's hips. Pull her closer as she presses back and Danielle leans down for another heavy kiss.

Lise actually forgot, how good this feels. The last time she did anything like this... it's been, ages. They don't go to the gay club, in Algonquin Bay. Partly because of her job, Lise knows that it's an, issue. That inevitably, she will run into people she's dealt with at work, and they will feel, crowded, by her presence. And partly because they have their home, where Danielle and her can be as overly affectionate, as horny, as they want to be.

But it's different, to make out with someone you desire when there are other people around you. When you're part of a dancing mass of bodies.

Toronto is amazing. Being in this crowd with Danielle, among absolute strangers, it's, thrilling.

She more feels than hears Danielle moan into her mouth. Feels her hands move, from Lise's hips to her ass as the blonde tries to get even closer. They're fully clothed, but Lise is starting to think they're starting to cross the line to public indecency with this sort of display.

They're by far not the only ones. Just by quickly glancing around quickly, she can see at least five other couples engaged in very similar activities. All of them seem to be gay couples. Men making out with each other, women doing the same.

Lise removes a hand and trails it over Danielle's shoulder. Snakes it between them, to be able to palm her girlfriend's breast through her clothes. Danielle moves against her, her hips jerking.

"Maybe we should move this somewhere else," she nearly yells in Lise's ear, trying to make herself heard over the heavy music.

"Maybe," she nods and pulls her back into a heavy kiss, arousal coiling low in the pit of her stomach. They definitely should move this elsewhere. Or stop. Because she can feel her resolve starting to crumble. It will be hard, to part with Danielle. Long enough to get out of the club and get a cab.

She spies the sign for the lavatories and steers Danielle in that direction, their kisses escalating even further. Danielle's one hand is stuck on her backside, massaging Lise's ass as they stumble and stagger their way through the crowd.

She's never had sex in a public bathroom before. Strangely enough, that's never been something Lise desires, never something she took for a good idea. But it's her who directs Danielle into a stall and slams the door shut behind them, before Danielle presses her against it and engages the bolt.

"Shit," Lise breathes and nibs at Danielle's bottom lip, drawing a keening sound from her. The music is still playing, muted by the door and the walls, but still audible as Danielle grinds up against her. Lise gives a shake of her head and turns them around, knocking Danielle into the wall of the stall. The blonde lets out a soft gasp before she pulls her into a hungry kiss.

She's hiked up the skirt of Danielle's dress so she can touch her, can stroke her hand up and down her length, drawing gasps and moans from the blonde. It makes Lise grin wickedly, though Danielle tries her hardest to wipe that grin off her face by undoing the front buttons of Lise's dress and pushing her bra up so she can take her breasts into her mouth.

"Crisse," she breathes and closes her eyes, enjoying the sensation of Danielle's tongue on her nipple. Her grip falters slightly, and she feels Danielle hike up the skirt of her dress, before her hands go back to Lise's ass and lift her up.

She lets out a squeak of surprise as she's pressed against the wall of the stall, her legs wrapping around Danielle instinctively. The blonde leans back and searches her eyes, causing Lise to swallow thickly before she leans in to capture her lips hungrily. Reaches between them to move her panties out of the way when Danielle moves her hips against her.

"You sure?" Danielle asks, breathlessly, as she trails kisses up and down her chest and Lise lets out a soft sigh, her eyes fluttering closed.

"Yes," she replies, moaning when she feels her girlfriend enter her. Feels Danielle's hot breath on her chest as she rests her forehead against Lise's heated skin, panting softly. She braces herself with one hand on Danielle's shoulder, the other reaching up to grip the top of the wall of the bathroom stall as Danielle begins to move in quick, hard strokes.

"Faster," Lise whispers, feeling herself slide down a little. Lets go of the wall and wraps her arms around her girlfriend's neck to pull her into a heady kiss. One that hopefully stiffles some of their moaning. She's not naive enough to think anyone else in the bathroom doesn't know exactly what's going on, but right now, she really, really doesn't give a shit. All she cares about is this, is Danielle pressed up against her, moving inside of her as they kiss.

She's close. So close. Lise can feel her orgasm approaching fast, can feel Danielle's movements becoming erratic. Feels her press against her harder, before her hips snap forward and Danielle lets out a groan, and her own orgasm hits Lise hard.

When her brain picks up its higher functions, she becomes aware of holding Danielle's head against her clavicle as the blonde's shoulders shake with silent laughter.

"Incorrigible brat," Lise sighs with a slight shake of her head. Gently strokes Danielle's hair and presses a soft kiss against it.

"Horny devil," Danielle tosses back and straightens to kiss her, a sigh escaping her.

Lise lets out a laugh at that and draws out the kiss. She feels Danielle's arms move, so she can let her down slowly. Holds onto her girlfriend's shoulders as she puts weight on her legs again, just to make sure she doesn't fall. She still feels a little, wobbly.

"Je t'aime," Danielle murmurs and touches her cheek gently. Lise finds her heart fluttering in her chest at the expression in her eyes. Leans in and hugs her tightly.

"Je t'aime," she replies and brushes her lips over Danielle's, before taking a step back to examine herself. To start on making them presentable again. Danielle lets out a soft chuckle and helps her button up her dress as Lise tries to smooth down the other woman's.

"Sorry," she apologizes softly, but Danielle shakes her head.

"Oh, don't worry," she replies, leaning in to brush her lips over Lise's neck. "It was well worth a few wrinkles. As horrendous as those are," she adds with a crinkle of her nose. It makes Lise shake her head and she pulls her into another kiss.

She exits the stall before Danielle. Thankfully, the washroom seems to be empty, no one at the sink. They both wash up quickly and then make their way out of the washroom, heading for the exit as they hold hands.

In the back of the taxi cab, Lise pulls Danielle into a searching kiss again. Feels the other woman's hand move, from her knee, to the inside of her thigh, desire sitting heavy in her belly.

"You're going to be the death of me," Danielle murmurs against her lips when Lise mirrors her actions. It makes her let out a soft laugh as she shakes her head.

"I will gladly be responsible for as many _petites morts_ as possible," she grins at her, causing Danielle to gape at her for a moment, before she pulls Lise into a heady kiss.

_fin._


End file.
